Everyone here calls it the king of fruits.
I’ve eaten it. Once. And I’ve got some thoughts about the coronation.
First, the mistake I made getting there — and you’ll make it too
We went down to Jalan Alor in Bukit Bintang, which is one of the places in KL people tell you to go to for street food. And we turned up, looked around, and thought: where is it?
The shops were open. But the stalls hadn’t come out into the road.
Here’s what nobody had told us: Jalan Alor is really an evening food street. Many stalls begin setting up from late afternoon, but the atmosphere builds after about seven and grows busier as the evening goes on. We’d assumed it ran at full strength all day, the way a market does at home. It doesn’t.
So if you go at four in the afternoon expecting the photographs you’ve seen online, you’ll stand in an ordinary street wondering what all the fuss was about. Go at seven. Go at eight. It’ll be there.
And while we were waiting, we found a durian restaurant
A whole restaurant. Built around one fruit. They have those here, and that alone should tell you something about how seriously this country takes it.
The bloke asked if we’d like to try it. We never had. We’d only ever heard the phrase — the king of fruits — and you can’t say that to two people from England and not expect them to be curious.
So he very kindly gave us a free sample each.
Right. My honest review.
It is the most disgusting fruit I have ever tasted.
King of fruits. I’ll give it this — based on its size, it might well be the king. It’s enormous. It’s covered in spikes. It looks like something that would win a fight.
But I’ll tell you what: it doesn’t taste like the king of anything.
No wonder it doesn’t sell in England.
Both of us hated it. My wife and me, straight away, same face. And we have never eaten it again since — not once, in two years of living here and trying nearly everything else this country has got.
We laugh about it now. At the time we were just trying to be polite.
In fairness — and this matters
Durian is a love-it-or-hate-it thing, and I want to be straight about that rather than pretend my opinion is the verdict.
Millions of people here adore it. It is not an acquired taste that nobody has acquired — it’s a fruit with a genuine, passionate following, and they are not wrong for loving it any more than I’m wrong for not.
We just landed firmly on the hate side, and we landed there fast.
How mad are they for it? This mad.
Durian restaurants, as I’ve said. Whole establishments, one fruit.
Durian pizza. I saw this advertised at Pizza Hut — durian, on a spicy curry sauce base instead of tomato. I want you to read that sentence twice. The very idea of it makes me feel sick.
Durian chocolate. You know how at home you’d get fruit and nut? Here you can get a durian bar, sat on the shelf like it’s the most normal thing in the world.
Nope. Not for me. Not for me at all.
Should you try it?
Yes. Obviously yes.
Ask whether you can buy or sample a small amount first. The place we visited kindly gave us a free taste, although you should not assume every seller will. You will never know which side of it you’re on until you’ve had it in your mouth.
You might be one of the people who loves it. A lot of people are, and they’re having a much better time in this country than I am on that particular front.
But if you take one bite and your face does what mine did — that’s alright too. You’re not being rude and you’re not missing something. You’ve just found out, in about four seconds, which sort of person you are.
More Malaysian food to try
If durian is not for you either, start with my guides to Malaysian Chinese food, Malaysian Indian food, or KL’s hawker stalls and kopitiams. There is plenty here to eat without going anywhere near another spiky fruit.
I found out. And then I went and ate literally everything else Malaysia has to offer instead, and I’ve been very happy about it ever since.
